Live One Day at a Time

As a person who liked to plan everything in advance, it’s kind of frustrating for me not to think of one year from now, five years from now, or even twenty years from now. That means that I have to think of where I will stay, when and with whom I’ll get married (when I was still single), and what kind of career that I’d like to pursue, etc. I want to plan everything-every single thing- about my life in a very specific order. The more it’s in order, the better for me.

That was a few years ago. Until I met this soul mate of mine and he became my husband. After getting married with him, my life is not predictable anymore. So many things that I had to experience. From moving outside my home country until experiencing different role in this life. I wasn’t me anymore. This wasn’t the normal me. It’s not the way that I used to be.

Then, I experienced a lot of changes. Adjustments. Adaptation.

It was the time when I began to realize while experiencing the only thing that’s constant in this life. The change itself. Other than that, nothing is constant.

I begin to realize-more and more- that there’s someone bigger behind all of this. Someone who knows everything! Every single thing of my life. He knows it as soon as I started to cry in the labor room when I saw the world for the first time. Oh, I might be wrong! He knows it even before the day I was born. He knew that I’ll be here. And He knows the journey, the trip, the cruise of life that I’m experiencing right now, my future, until eternity. It’s all in His Mighty Hands.

Honestly, with all of the sudden changes, sometimes I find it hard (read:not easy) to cope. There are times that I felt alone without knowing the real destination that I’m going to go. While at other times, it seems that my life isn’t going anywhere. Like in the treadmill in a fitness center. Just stuck right there.

Well, somehow I felt that I didn’t make any progress nor any improvement. But that’s when He touched my heart again. Jesus did it! He sent some angels around me. In the form of good friends, even a very friendly stranger that I haven’t met before. Or sometimes an old friend that I just met along the way. He sent me a lot of gifts along this journey. And I’m thanking Him for that!

Nothing much can happen when we’re too busy worrying about the future, the changes, or event he unpredictable bitterness that life could bring. And somehow, I found the inspirational answer from Andrew Matthews.

When the worst happens, you can’t worry about the rest of your life. You can’t even be worrying about the rest of the month. But you can usually handle one day at a time. And whenever 24 hours is too tough, bite off five minutes at a time. Tackle one problem at a time. Take a step. You get a little confidence… take another step, and another. Eventually you find that the worst is over. (Happiness in Hard Times, Andrew Matthews’ latest book)

It’s good to think that we can put life into small bites. A little chunk of it, only to find that we’ll become less worried. If we think about the next 10, 15, 25, or even 40 years, well.. of course we’ll begin to worry.

Let say that currently you’re in your mid 30s, single woman. When you think of your age, you might wondering that when you’ll have the spouse. Then, when you’ll get a baby. Counting your age then thinking about menopause which is very logical, will for sure make you worried. But, of course, God has His own plans within His perspectives. He knows what exactly will happen with our life. Whether the woman will get married or stay single. Whether the very next day she bumps into a very responsible guy that can make her fall in love head over heels. It’s always possible for God. All we need to do is just trust Him with all our heart.

It doesn’t mean that we have to stop dreaming in order to be more realistic though. God has always loved to see His children in a great vision of life. God has put the passion inside every heart of His children, so they won’t stop dreaming and keep on believing that if they work hard and pray hard, it’s never impossible to achieve that. But, while we dream BIG (read: HUGE), at the same time we need to face the daily life with a realistic way. Live one day at a time. Five minutes’ chunk, will help us to have a peaceful mind and heart.

Keep dreaming. Keep believing. While at the same time, live one day at a time. Because somehow whatever we planned might go out of place. Scattered along the way of this life. But whatever plans He has for us will never fail. All we need to do is just to cooperate with Him and live our life with a peace beyond understanding from the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Live a happy life. Live a joyful life. Live a fruitful life. And that starts by living this very second, this very moment.

Last but not least, a quotation from the book of Matthew chapter 6 verse 34, hopefully will remind us that each day will have enough trouble of its own. Don’t worry, be happy!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

--- Matthew 6:34

HCMC, 20 February 2010

-fon-

sumber gambar:

http://kyleinjapan.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/happy_man.jpg

A Gleettering Love of God

Chris Colfer who acted as Kurt Hummel on the new TV serial Glee has made me see the relationship between Abba Father, our God, with His children.

In its episode tonight, when he confessed to his father that he’s a gay, then his father said:

“ I know it since you’re 3. But it doesn’t change my love for you. I still love you for what you are.”

And he cried.

Well, what can I say?

That’s the love of our Father (or even more than what I’ve seen in the movie!). Unconditional. 100% acceptance. For whatever we’ve done in our life, He forgives us. And His forgiveness is uncountable (well, it doesn’t mean that we can take it as a granted though). But, what I’m referring to right now is that: it doesn’t matter how bad your past was. It doesn’t matter how sinful you were before. It doesn’t matter that you’ve done the biggest mistakes in your life in previous time, because His mercy is there for you.

His mercy is there for us. He’s able to forgive us. Over and over again. Even sometimes for the same stupid mistakes that we couldn’t avoid to do. He is willing to accept us, just the way we are.

God’s love, God’s forgiveness is filling my heart at this moment.

Never look down on yourself, because He accepts you for what you are.

The only thing that matter is: too often we can’t accept ourselves. We think that we’re not worthy. We think that we’re not good enough. Oh, yes.. we need to fight for whatever we want in this life. For whatever we have at this moment: our job, our family, our study. But, we can only live our life to the fullest when we can accept ourselves more and more.

God loves you. God loves us. God so loved the world that He gave His only Son. That’s the greatest love of all.

HCMC, 11 February 2010

-fon-

* thankful of Glee’s episode tonight. Let’s enjoy the gleeterring love of God in our life

source of picture:

http://news.softpedia.com/images/news2/Fox-Trying-to-Keep-Glee-s-Chris-Colfer-in-the-Closet-2.jpg

Make It Happen

It’s not a coincidence that I watched this movie-Make It Happen- in Star Movies channel few days ago. And while watching it, some part of my heart was like shaking (it’s kind of like trembling inside thing), because I’ve always loved the movie or the program about fulfilling one’s dream. And make it happen. I didn’t watch it from the very beginning though, all I saw was just the end scenes. But, I was touched by it. The story is about the dancer who works hard for entering a dance college or dance school, but she didn’t make it. Then, she worked in a club instead and her brother came and asked her to continue the family business. That means she has to forget about her dream and let it go. She did it but then suddenly the brother gave the consent to do the audition. And she did it! She got the spot that’s available in the dance school! Yeay!

Besides this kind of movie, I also like watching ‘American Idol’, especially the part of giving hope. I mean that usually the program is featuring a few persons with incredible backgrounds. Maybe they were abandoned as a child, having the cancer or other strange disease but yet are able to get back on their feet. The power of the dream influenced them so strongly. I admire them. I admire those who made their dream come true and really go for it.

Talking about my dreams…

Hmmm, few years ago, in the interview if they asked me what do I want to be in 5 years time? Since I was working as a foreign institutional dealer in a securities company, all I could see was just becoming a sales or sales trader in another five years time. More than that, I don’t know. Really, I have no idea about it.

Then, after going through all the changes that God allowed me to go through, all I could ask was just becoming a good mother, a good wife, a good daughter, a good friend for my closest ones, a good disciple of God, etc. But one thing that’s on top of my list that I want to share with you all is that: I want to become a writer. I tried and am still trying to make it happen until now.

I started to do blogging since 2006 until today. And along the way, I had the chance to read Bo Sanchez’s inspirational writings. He always encourages us to be very specific about our dreams. To write them down and to read them everyday. And work on them , make them happen, and pray for each one of them everyday.

That makes me feel more focused. Even though I don’t have any book published yet on my solo writing, but I’ve made some progress though. And I’m thankful for that.

When you ask yourself and see in the depth of your heart, you’ll find that you’ve got some dreams that you really want so badly. Each time you think of it, each time you think of them, you know that your passion is there. You know that you’re willing to give your heart and soul 100% for it. You even know that you can cry for it (because you want it so much and that’s where your heart is). And of course, we must work hard to achieve it. Because if we keep on dreaming without doing anything about it, it’s not a wise thing to do. Work hard and pray hard. After doing our best, then let God do the rest.

So, what’s your dream? What’s your deepest dream that you’ve already buried so deeply inside your heart and try to let it go? Well, this is the time to dig it and make it happen! And last but not least, “ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

HCMC, 6 February 2010

-fon-

source of picture:

http://moviestudio.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/make_it_happen.jpg

Misa Natal Pertama di HCMC

Misa Natal Pertama di HCMC

Saigon Notre-Dame Cathedral Basilica

25 Desember 2009, pukul 09.10 pagi…

Informasi dari seorang pemain organ yang kuterima lima hari yang lalu, kujadikan acuan untuk datang ke misa yang katanya berbahasa Inggris di Hari Natal ini. Sementara kabarnya misa malam Natal diadakan pukul 22.00 dalam Bahasa Vietnam. Tetapi ternyata, misa pagi itu masih juga dalam Bahasa Vietnam. Tak mengapa, kucoba ikuti dengan khusyuk.

Tiba sedikit terlambat karena di saat terakhir, anak kami merengek ikut, suasana gereja lebih meriah daripada biasa karena di bagian luarnya saja sudah ada beberapa orang memakai kostum ‘Santa Claus’. Deretan itu bertambah dengan anak-anak kecil dan juga beberapa orang remaja yang juga memakai baju merah dari bahan beludru dan rumbai-rumbai putih, semakin menyemarakkan suasana Natal.

Sesampainya di dalam gereja, ruangan sudah penuh sesak. Termasuk di bagian belakang, sudah banyak orang yang berdiri. Aku juga termasuk di dalamnya. Jadilah kami berdiri di belakang selama misa berlangsung. Kupandangi sekelilingku, ada pemandangan yang tidak biasa. Karena di sekitarku penuh dengan mereka yang duduk di kursi roda. Mereka yang tampaknya ‘cacat’ secara fisik. Dan ketika lektor dan lektris membacakan bacaan pertama dan kedua, bertambah jelaslah di mataku bahwa ini misa untuk orang yang kurang lengkap anggota fisiknya. Dua lektris dan lektor itu tadi, keduanya buta. Rasa terharu, kasihan, bangga, campur aduk jadi satu dalam hatiku saat itu. Dan di hari kelahiran Kristus, aku menyaksikan kebesaran-Nya bahwa mereka yang membacakan bacaan hari itu, tak mampu melihat, tapi membacakan dari dalam hati mereka yang terdalam. Suara mereka membuatku tersentuh. Dan aku disadarkan sekali lagi akan kebesaran Tuhan. Akan tujuan Kristus hadir ke dunia ini. Sekaligus menyadari betapa beruntungnya setiap manusia yang memiliki kelengkapan panca indera. Walaupun sering kali kita yang lengkap secara fisik ini mengeluh, namun ternyata apa yang kita miliki, apa yang kita alami, sebetulnya sungguh luar biasa. Sikap yang penuh syukur terhadap kelengkapan panca indera terbawa dalam diriku terus dan terus. Sekaligus mengagumi mereka yang mungkin buta secara fisik, namun tidak ‘buta’ hatinya. Sering kali malah kenyataan menghadapkan kita pada mereka yang memiliki mata yang bisa melihat dengan sempurna, bahkan tanpa kaca mata, namun hatinya ‘buta’. Sungguh ironis memang, namun itulah hidup…

Tuhan hadir bukan hanya bagi mereka yang kaya, bukan pula melulu bagi mereka yang sukses, mereka yang bahagia dan selalu berkecukupan. Tetapi hadirnya Yesus ke dunia ini adalah untuk mereka yang berkekurangan. Mereka yang menjerit kesakitan. Mereka yang kelaparan. Mereka yang tak lengkap fisiknya. Mereka yang luka di batinnya. Mereka yang kesepian, mereka yang selalu resah dan tak pernah menemukan kedamaian walaupun di saat mereka menutup matanya ketika tidur. Bagi mereka yang insomnia, tidur pun bukan suatu kenikmatan. Bahkan tidur adalah suatu siksaan karena tak bisa menutup mata sementara pikiran terus berjalan.

Kristus lahir, Kristus hadir, untuk mengisi setiap rongga kehampaan dalam hati kita. Dalam hidup kita. Untuk itulah Dia datang. Salah satunya untuk mereka yang tidak lengkap fisiknya, bagi mereka yang cacat secara lahir. Ataupun cacat secara batin, misalnya kondisi mental yang tak berkembang baik, sementara umur pun terus melaju. Kristus datang dengan cinta. Dan cinta-Nya adalah obat terbaik bagi mereka yang sakit. Sakit fisik ataupun sakit hati. Dengan cinta-Nya kita dihadapkan pada kemungkinan untuk sembuh, berproses, bahkan tidak tertutup kemungkinan untuk tumbuh sehat secara sempurna dalam lingkup kasih-Nya. Dengan memperbaharui dan menerima kasih-Nya senantiasa, kita amat mungkin untuk sembuh!

Hidup tak pernah sempurna. Selalu ada kekurangan di sana-sini, selalu ada kecacatan di sana-sini. Dan keyakinan saya di saat itu, kehadiran-Nya adalah untuk mengisi kecacatan itu, untuk mengisi kekosongan dan kehampaan di diri. Di hati. Yesus, terima kasih sudah hadir di saat ini. Terima kasih mau meninggalkan kenyamanan-Mu sebagai anak Allah dan mengambil rupa sebagai hamba dan tinggal bersama-sama dengan manusia.

Kutinggalkan gereja penuh rasa syukur. Sekaligus juga mendoakan mereka yang kurang beruntung. Bagi mereka yang cacat, bagi mereka yang kesepian, bagi mereka yang mungkin di hari Natal itu mengalami kelaparan hebat, mengalami kesedihan luar biasa. Semoga Tuhan Yesus hibur mereka. Semoga Tuhan Yesus basuh setiap hati yang luka dan menjadikannya baru…

Selamat ulang tahun, Yesus! Ulang tahun-Mu kali ini menjadi pelajaran berharga bagiku karena aku diizinkan melihat dari sisi lain, di negara lain, bahwa karya-Mu tak pernah berhenti. Selalu dibutuhkan di dunia ini. Tanpa Engkau, apa jadinya dunia ini? Dalam Natal ini, kulihat kembali rahmat-Mu, kasih-Mu, dan penyelenggaraan-Mu yang tanpa henti atas hidup kami.

Pelan, kubisikkan di telinga-Mu, “ Happy birthday, Jesus! Thank you and I Love You!”

HCMC, 3 Januari 2010

-fon-

* telah dimuat di Majalah Kuasa Doa (KD) Vol. 4, No. 12, Februari 2010 dengan judul Happy Birthday, Jesus! Posting-nya menunggu dimuatnya di Majalah KD dulu, maka agak terlambat.

sumber gambar:

http://travelvietnaminfo.com/images/saigon11.jpg